Why I quit playing videogames

Why I quit playing videogames, by Dean Welsh

or :Because you deserve to know
:because why I do what I do with my leisure time is on the forefront of the world’s mind
:because dean

It’s not that I don’t like videogames anymore, it’s really not.

It’s that when you turned an atari on, you could play 4 rounds of a game in the time it takes this playstation to boot.

And then the playstation has to update… that’s another 14 rounds of Cosmic Arc.

And then my PSN name apparently doesn’t work anymore… and I have to figure out the e-mail I used to sign up for it in the first place to get sony to reset it… because apparently they were insecure and got hacked and by the way my credit card is probably compromised… And I could definitely have played another 30 rounds in that time.

And then I give up and just turn off the playstation.

And then three months later I turn it back on because I forget how much I hate it,
and then it all happens again.

BUT then I get determined and I sit down and figure it all out and get it all updated and ready to go for next time.

and then next time isn’t for another month… so there are more updates.
so here we go again.

and by the time it updates… I don’t want to play anymore…

BUT then another month later… “Screw it I’ll just use this thing to watch some weird foreign netflix feed….” the networking part of my playstation stops working and Apparently the solution (and believe me, I spent 3 hours on this… no exaggeration), is that “after you’ve tried everything, maybe try reformatting the disk.”

no.

The reason Videogame consoles are better than computers, is because this doesn’t happen with consoles. Consoles are an appliance that you turn on and it’s game-on.

Screw this, I’m done with this new-fangled new console gaming, because it’s not console gaming. I’m going back to the good old NES and never playing anything that didn’t come on cartridge.

…Except the NES doesn’t really hook into my T.V… I mean… it does, but there’s some weird upscanning/oversampling thing that happens, and mario looks more like Potato. And the Atari’s right out… I mean… it was barely compatible with COAX…

So I find this thing that plugs into HDMI, called a retron5… it’s a thing that takes regular cartridges and controllers from like…. NES, SUPERNES,SEGA Genesis, Gameboy, and then does some sort of emulation magic so I can play it on my new t.v. HOLY SHIT! YES!

…Except after a year worth of delays on this holy grail I pre-ordered… there’s a lag in the controls, which renders everything unplayable garbage…. yeah… kinda figured it must be too good to be true…

So, It’s not so much that I don’t want to play videogames… castlevania’s still castlevania, and castlevania still rules…

It’s that I can’t.

 

George found a camera in a dumpster

I think he called it a Polaris? Polka? Polack?
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George: Dean show me your impression of Margaret Thatcher.
Dean: As I’m sure you’re aware, she was know as the iron… Fist.
CLICK
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More pics here http://2litresofsoysaucecom.blogspot.ca/2014/11/groaning-like-beached-walrus-while.html?m=1

 

Sittin’ and Whittlin’

Ana and Marc have carvings of pigs and spoons all over their apartment. The pigs because Izu has some sort of famous local wild boar delicacy (as far as I gleaned from not really paying attention to anything anyone said ever.) And the spoons because Marc has taken up a fascination with woodworking and… I dunno… I guess woodcarvers like spoons or something? Again… just guesswork on my part. Pretty sure Ana made at least one of them.

photo 2 (typhoon outside, hence the hair.)

So I carved a tiny pig and spoon out of chunks of scrap wood he had chipped off of other projects.

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Pig is about toonie-sized, which makes the spoon more like… a half-matchstick?

Not Sure what the deal with the little pan is, sortof looks hand-cast… I wonder if he’s got a forging fascination happening as well? Probably. Seems like the sort of lame thing he’d be into.

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Handmade stamp

In Japan they have this stamp thing they do. When you go to a tourist spot or a train station, and you look around a bit, you can usually find a little pedestal with a rubber stamp and inkpad on it. They’re super great. I found as many as I could while I was there.

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I realized, I could probably hand-make a stamp. That’s probably a thing people do.

So I bought one of these.

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It’s a gigantic 4×6 inch white vinyl eraser. (it actually is)

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And some of these to carve it.

I really like this picture of Robert Oppenheimer jumping from Philippe Halsman’s jump book.
http://russelldavies.typepad.com/planning/2007/10/jump.html (incidentally if you ever see a copy of it and you want to get me a birthday present, you’d win the best friend ever prize.)
opp

So I spent a couple hours in Photoshop tracing and I came up with this.
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Then I printed that out, traced it onto onion paper, and then rubbed that kindergarten etching style onto my eraser block.
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Trimmed it down
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And started carving
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Tried a test StampingIMG_2963

Tightened some stuff up.
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And tried againIMG_2966

I dunno I think it’s pretty neat. The Vinyl’s a little too soft to hold the fine detail I’d like. I’ll try some lino next time or something. All in all pretty good for a first crack.

 

Custom Drafting Table

Gabrielle has a keyboard.

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We have a tiny apartment.cambridgelofts_unit1412

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Gabs wants an art desk, so I built this.

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Note my fine Aluminum craftsmanship.  (Hey… It’s my first time ever even really using my drill, countersink bit, AND tap… cut me some slack.)

IMG_0008Can’t scratch the floor though.

I hear what you’re saying. “Dean… that’s just a hunk of garbage and not, in fact, a desk”

What if I put it HERE though? IMG_0011

 

 

IMG_0012See.  totally a desk.

Still don’t get it?  ok… well… what if I show you this board with some wall hooks on it?

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Yeah. that’s right. you get it now. IMG_0015

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Because the front rests on the keyboard stand.

And it’s carefully fabricated to miss all of the bits of the keyboard.IMG_0020\

 

IMG_0010 “But Dean, don’t you store your Bass under the keyboard? won’t the supports for the frame eliminate that possibility?”

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My friend, I think of all of these eventualities and custom-build my furniture with just such a situation in mind.

IMG_0017“Well that’s a pretty cool desk… What’s with the other bar and extra hooks junking stuff up though?”

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PORTRAIT MODE, SON.

 

The List: How Comic movies stack-up for me.

The Following is a list of Comic Book Movies I vaguely recall seeing ordered on the entirely subjective “Favorite-to-Worst” scale. Link me to yours! (note: I don’t remember any of the superman movies really… other than the latest one)

Edit: I’m going to republish this every time I see a new Comic Movie

Scott Pilgrim
Iron Man
Guardians of the Galaxy
300
Ghost World
Batman:Mask of the Phantasm
Spider-Man 2
Dredd (Urban)
Constantine (what can I say, I love tilda swinton)
The Dark Knight
Hellboy 2
The Avengers
Iron Man 3
Thor: The Dark World
The Amazing Spider-Man
Thor
Kickass
Batman Begins
Hellboy
Spider-Man
Incredible Hulk
Sin City
Captain America
Watchmen
Iron Man 2
X-men:Days of Future Past
Tank Girl
American Splendor
Howard the Duck
History of Violence
X-Men: First Class
Batman:the movie (adam west)
V for Vendetta
Road to Perdition
30 Days of Night
Cowboys and Aliens
Ghostrider:Spirits of Vengeance
———–above this line was a great movie below this line was a wash———-
The Crow
Amazing Spider-man 2
The Mask
Wolverine
Punisher: War Zone
X-Men
Batman
X-men 2
Punisher (Dolph Lundgren) (It still makes me laugh.)
Superman Returns
Spider-Man 3 (if they didn’t try to cram venom into it, this would probably rank way higher)
Hulk (Ang lee: beautiful film… but… Poodles and worst bad guy ever? really?)
Man of Steel
Green Lantern
X-men 3
Electra
Judge Dredd (stallone)
Captain America: Winter Soldier
DareDevil
Virus
Batman Returns
———–Hated the stuff below this line———-
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Catwoman
The Spirit
Spawn
Batman and Robin
Batman Forever
Punisher (John Travolta)
Fantastic Four
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
GhostRider
Fantastic Four 2

 

Muppet Headphones

Muppet headphones

 

Tools

 

like a (mini) boss

 

Leviathan

Roy

I painted this thing for this thing.